This is gonna be a really short update. It’s already been a long week and it’s only Wednesday. …and I had Monday off.
So I had my monthly post-op appointment with my surgeon today. Here are the numbers.
Weight on day of surgery: 239.2 lbs
Weight last month: 216.4 lbs
Weight today: 208.4
Total lost: 30.8 lbs
I would be more excited about them if I weren’t so tired. I’m friggin’ exhausted.
That’s me smiling. No, really. And I even asked my husband to take this photo. I posed for it willingly.
The staff at my surgeon’s office were more excited about the numbers than I was. I was down to 204 at one point, but this has been a very…chocolaty…month. If you catch my drift. Still, 208 is nothing to be ashamed of.
My surgeon is still pleased enough with my progress that he hasn’t needed to adjust my band. This made me especially happy this month, as Friday is my birthday and I’m looking forward to having a sushi dinner with my friends.
And…I think that’s about everything I wanted to talk about this time. …yeah, I got nothin’ left. I’m bloody tired. I’m also menstruating and have poison ivy on my everything. I think it’s time to watch “Batman” (the animated series) and knit for the rest of the evening.
Soon, if all goes well, I will be back to the weight I was when I moved in with my then-boyfriend, now husband in June of 2005. This is a pretty big deal. I am, needless to say, incredibly excited. I’m also excited by the fact that this weight loss has required comparatively little effort, and been occurring not only regularly, but pretty rapidly. For the last few months, my body has been chugging along, getting rid of the excess I built up because of how compulsive I can be when it comes to food. And so that’s gotten me thinking.
See, I’m expecting there to be an end to the easy part. I imagine that eventually I’ll need to start exerting actual effort in the form of exercise in order to lose weight. And I might even need to have my band adjusted at some point. Thus far I’ve been doing really well with the band at its loosest possible setting.
But so I’ve been wondering where the cutoff is. What does my body just naturally want to weigh when I’m not shoving fistfuls of exorbitantly fatty foods into it? I’ll find out, I’m sure. But I’m hoping it won’t be for a while yet. Hip pain sounds like a convenient excuse to forego exercise, but it really is painful for me to be too active right now. Thankfully, it is getting better! Noticeably so, in fact. But still, I’m hoping my body will burn off another twenty pounds at least before I’ll need to start being active in order to keep shedding the pounds.
I am so damn excited about my progress thus far. It’s hard to believe this is actually happening. I had given up hope of ever losing significant amounts of weight. But I actually have been.
I like to monitor my progress on a weekly basis. I look forward to Saturday morning, as that is the day I will step on the scale to see how I’ve done this week. Here’s hoping it will be a good morning.
It’s been approximately two and a half months since I took a somewhat drastic step toward weight loss. Today I feel pretty confident about how well I’m doing, and very positive about the progress I’ve made so far. I’m also quite surprised—this radical change in my diet hasn’t been as difficult as I thought it would be.
As I’ve established, I have a problem with food. In the past it’s been very difficult for me to stop myself from eating certain things. I’ve felt a compulsion to eat various foods that I was frequently unable to ignore, especially when I felt at all poorly emotionally. This was the primary reason for my being so heavy, and also caused me to be pretty worried about how life would be after my surgery. But things are surprisingly not that bad.
I no longer have the option to eat certain things. …mostly. See, I could have a food that’s not that great for me, or I could have my next meal. Usually I’m more interested in having my next meal. The food that’s not that great for me might be temporarily satisfying, but I know that in the long run that I’m going to be most interested in having a meal that will actually satiate my physical and mental hunger. Then of course there’s the question of nutrition. A tangible threat of malnutrition is a much better motivator than something being nebulously “bad” for me.
Of course there are some days that are worse than others. I do still feel the urge to eat for emotional reasons, and it’s especially difficult to ignore that urge when my hormones are in flux. But usually I can quell the urge with sugar free gum. …which I went through a lot of last week at work when we had to do mandatory overtime. But hey, it was there, and it’s a better crutch than shoving all sorts of sweets into my mouth.
I’m also finding some leeway in my diet for the occasional small indulgence—a half an ounce of chocolate there, the occasional work-provided treat here. There’s even enough time between my breakfast and my lunch on the weekdays for a snack. Actually, if I don’t eat something during this time, I have trouble focusing through my hunger. But I’ve started filling this void with fruit. Making better food choices makes me feel better emotionally, which in turn negates a lot of my reasons for emotional eating. If I don’t feel down in the dumps, I don’t want to eat as much. It’s quite lovely, really.
Another good reason for me to limit my food intake is that apparently eating more than a certain amount at a time—for me, I’ve found it to be between 4 to 4.5 ounces—causes heartburn. I cannot tell you how much I loathe, how much I detest heartburn. I went under the knife to avoid having it, actually, so I suppose that’s some indication.
So for me, adding severe limitations to a problem that spiraled out of control has actually been really beneficial in a lot of different ways. I’m rather surprised by this, but also unspeakably pleased.
Also, I can’t wait for my next Status Update. It’s only been a couple of weeks since the last one, but, well, let’s just say that it looks as if I’m fixing to pleasantly surprise my surgeon again.
I am not the only one I know who is currently battling with an overeating problem. Whereas I opted for surgery and all the mostly-inflexible limitations involved, a friend of mine is active in Overeaters Anonymous. We’re both doing very well. And today she shared an interesting article, Confessions of a Food Addict by Denise Wolfe. I thought it was pertinent to this blog.
I especially empathized with this part:
“People could disappoint me … food never did. I ate whether bored, angry, elated, tired, happy, frustrated, bonding with friends, lonely, celebrating, tired. And, like most addicts, along with the food, I stuffed down feelings I didn’t want to deal with.”
Food is often used for self-comfort, even by people who don’t necessarily have an eating disorder. Been there, still trying not to do that.
On the other side is Excuse-proof your workout by Jenny Everett on Health.com.
I foresee a walk in my future for this evening.
As I’ve said before, I am not pro-skinny, and I am not pro-fat. I am pro whatever weight makes any given person feel their best and be their healthiest. On that note and due to the fact that I’m always going on about weight loss due to my own personal circumstances, I thought I’d share a nifty article called “Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls… SO I WILL.” by the Militant Baker.
Some people weigh more and have more curves than others. This is a fact of life. I am all for individuals finding ways to love themselves for who they are rather than in spite of who they are, and I think the above article could help someone out there find the inner light of self-love. So I thought I’d spread it into my own corner of the internet.
Happy Tuesday, friends.