Not as Difficult as I Expected

It’s been approximately two and a half months since I took a somewhat drastic step toward weight loss. Today I feel pretty confident about how well I’m doing, and very positive about the progress I’ve made so far. I’m also quite surprised—this radical change in my diet hasn’t been as difficult as I thought it would be.

As I’ve established, I have a problem with food. In the past it’s been very difficult for me to stop myself from eating certain things. I’ve felt a compulsion to eat various foods that I was frequently unable to ignore, especially when I felt at all poorly emotionally. This was the primary reason for my being so heavy, and also caused me to be pretty worried about how life would be after my surgery. But things are surprisingly not that bad.

I no longer have the option to eat certain things. …mostly. See, I could have a food that’s not that great for me, or I could have my next meal. Usually I’m more interested in having my next meal. The food that’s not that great for me might be temporarily satisfying, but I know that in the long run that I’m going to be most interested in having a meal that will actually satiate my physical and mental hunger. Then of course there’s the question of nutrition. A tangible threat of malnutrition is a much better motivator than something being nebulously “bad” for me.

Of course there are some days that are worse than others. I do still feel the urge to eat for emotional reasons, and it’s especially difficult to ignore that urge when my hormones are in flux. But usually I can quell the urge with sugar free gum. …which I went through a lot of last week at work when we had to do mandatory overtime. But hey, it was there, and it’s a better crutch than shoving all sorts of sweets into my mouth.

I’m also finding some leeway in my diet for the occasional small indulgence—a half an ounce of chocolate there, the occasional work-provided treat here. There’s even enough time between my breakfast and my lunch on the weekdays for a snack. Actually, if I don’t eat something during this time, I have trouble focusing through my hunger. But I’ve started filling this void with fruit. Making better food choices makes me feel better emotionally, which in turn negates a lot of my reasons for emotional eating. If I don’t feel down in the dumps, I don’t want to eat as much. It’s quite lovely, really.

Another good reason for me to limit my food intake is that apparently eating more than a certain amount at a time—for me, I’ve found it to be between 4 to 4.5 ounces—causes heartburn. I cannot tell you how much I loathe, how much I detest heartburn. I went under the knife to avoid having it, actually, so I suppose that’s some indication.

So for me, adding severe limitations to a problem that spiraled out of control has actually been really beneficial in a lot of different ways. I’m rather surprised by this, but also unspeakably pleased.

Also, I can’t wait for my next Status Update. It’s only been a couple of weeks since the last one, but, well, let’s just say that it looks as if I’m fixing to pleasantly surprise my surgeon again.

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