Changes

Very shortly after I had surgery at the end of February, I began to notice changes in my weight. Looking back, it’s a testament to how strong my body’s desire is to not be as heavy as my issues with food made it be. But now I’m finding myself at that point in the journey–and at the end of this month it will be six months since my surgery–where the changes in my weight are starting to become really noticeable.

I like to sit with my legs crossed while I’m at my desk at my day job. My appreciation for this posture didn’t begin after surgery. I really liked to sit this way prior to surgery, but it was always pretty awkward. I sort of had to wedge my top leg up under my desk, as there wasn’t a lot of room between my legs and the underside of my desk, and then also my legs didn’t really cross very easily because of the size of my thighs.

Now when I cross my legs, for one thing, they actually cross, and for another, there’s quite a bit more space between my legs and my desk. I lived in this environment at the heavier weight, and yet I’m still astonished at how much the spacing of my body has changed.

Another good example of the changes deals with my port. For those just joining me, this port is a medical device that is affixed to my abdominal muscles on the right side of my stomach. This port is in turn connected to the LAP-Band™ wrapped around my stomach, which is the cause of my weight loss. The port is used to adjust the band.

The incision my surgeon made for inserting the port is the largest out of all of them, because the port is kinda large and of course the incision had to be big enough to fit the port through.

Because of the strange way my brain works, I was expecting that the resulting scar would forever be right around where the port is. Well, I was poking around my stomach the other day (I’m losing weight pretty quickly, so these days I am acutely aware of my body in ways I assume most people aren’t) and discovered to my surprise that the port scar is now a good three or four inches away from the port itself. I have lost enough weight that my skin has shrunk that much. In retrospect, I should have known that would work that way, but as I said, my brain works in strange ways. So that was an interesting surprise.

With each new day, I am continually marvelling at the ways in which my body has changed and is still changing. And I am happy to report that I am enjoying the transformation just as much as I thought I would. One of my pre-surgery fears was that I would go through all that and come to find out that being thinner didn’t make me happy. It’s a relief to know, even though I’m only around halfway to my goal weight, that I am emphatically happier. And–fingers crossed–it’s only going to get better as I keep losing more weight.

It’s nice to like my body again.

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