“What No One Tells You About Losing Lots of Weight”

I’m a little hesitant to post this, because I found the large majority of the article to be a little discouraging, but I do think that it contains some useful food for thought. And it’s sort of a follow-up to my last post, as it mentions the same photography project. Read What No One Tells You About Losing Lots of Weight, by Alexandria Symonds.

If anyone out there reading would care to respond, what were your assumptions about losing a lot of weight before you did so? Do you feel they were realistic? Have they been realized?

I assumed I would feel better about myself. I assumed also that my body would just feel better in general–I knew it would be easier to move and be active and sing and just exist without there being so much of me. I assumed I would feel better about the way I look. I assumed I would like myself better as a person. I assumed I would feel more attractive to other people.

I’m still not sure if that last one has been realized, though I am often complimented by people who know me on how much better I look. As for the rest of it, it’s all happening as I’m losing the weight. I will say that I do still look in the mirror and yearn to be thinner and then wonder what’s wrong with me–I’ve lost nearly 70 pounds, after all! …but then I’m also still not at my ideal weight yet (that would be the weight that I, personally, feel is my ideal weight), and I am not fond of having a gut. …mostly I’m not fond of the extra padding around my abdomen.

So as time goes on, I only feel better and better about myself and about the way I look, with and without my clothes on. (Though it would be nice to actually have a backside. That is what roller blades are for.)

But then I knew going in that it would be work, and I knew there would be skin issues…which I suppose is the entire point of that article. I wasn’t lead to believe that losing the weight would turn my life into the kind of fairy tale the media assured me it would, and so I am not being let down by unrealistic expectations.

So give the article a read, and if you’re just starting out on the journey, don’t feel discouraged. You’re embarking on a huge change. Expect that. Embrace it. Take what it throws at you, and remember you are a work in progress, and that being a work in progress is beyond ok.

If you’re in the midst of your journey and are feeling a disconnect between what you expected and what’s happening, take the time to reevaluate yourself and your needs. The article seemed to imply that setting goals was a bad idea (because goals–*gasp*–can change!), but I disagree. Set a goal. Reach for it. And if later you find yourself thinking that you should reach for something different, then do so. Follow your bliss. You are an ever-growing, changing person, so why should your goals not be as fluid as you are?


Julia Kozerski and the “Half” Project

A friend of mine shared this on Facebook today, and I not only felt a connection to this artist, but thought that her work might be meaningful to many of you.

Go look at Julia Kozerski and the “Half” Project, but be warned: Many of the images are artistic nudes, and therefore may be inappropriate for work, or younger viewers.

Status Update #7

It seems I’ve got a lot on my mind for this post, so we’re just gonna get this show on the road.

Weight on day of surgery: 239.2 lbs
Weight last month: 179.4 lbs
Weight today: 173.2 lbs
Total lost: 66 lbs

What my surgeon shoots for in regards to his Band patients is 70% excess weight loss by twelve months after surgery. I am officially well beyond that point, and four months early at that, so my doctor is pretty durn pleased with my progress. Given my rapid weight loss earlier in the year, I would be happier with the numbers if I’d lost more than 6.2 pounds over the course of a month, but that’s still 6.2 pounds in the right direction.

We are still trying to find the sweet spot (well, what I feel is a sweet spot) after what happened in August, where I’m not having issues with being hungry all the time, and am still actively losing weight, but still able to, y’know, eat. Thus, I got another adjustment today. It was a small one, but I agree with my surgeon that I seem to be hypersensitive to the implant. (I’m hypersensitive to lots of other things, so sure, why not this too?) I have indeed been having hunger issues over the last month, and I’ve been eating more than I feel like I should be. But that’s because I’ve actually been hungry enough to do so, so at least my “overeating” isn’t the sort I’ve been engaging in all my life. I figure honest hunger is a pretty legitimate reason to eat something.

Also, it’s the holiday season again, which means that it’s time for this insidious stuff again. I was sort of dreading it, actually, except…except I have some, and it’s in my cupboard, and I’ve only been having one serving of it at a time. I realize that having any of it at all isn’t exactly the best nutritional choice to make, but Band or no, chocolate is just one of those sacrifices I’m not willing to make. So I’m quite proud of myself for thus far successfully limiting my intake of one of my trigger foods. It’s been…not overly difficult this time around. It truly does help to savor the stuff, plus it’s mint-flavored, so one serving of it goes a long way. If my sweet tooth still isn’t satisfied after I’ve had that one serving, then that’s what sugar-free gum is for.

I was asked by the staff at my doctor’s office if I would be interested in coming to one of their new patient seminars next week to talk to their prospective bariatric patients. I am indeed, so if you were at that seminar and you’re reading this, greetings!

The fact that they asked actually meant a lot to me. It makes me feel like I’m one of the success stories, which I suppose I am. This makes the competitive part of my personality happy*, but more importantly, illustrates to me pretty well just how far I’ve really come. So I hope that my talking to the prospective patients will be…well, inspirational. When I went to my new patient seminar way back in the spring of 2012, it was really nice to see some of my surgeon’s patients, to look at them and see a real, live, breathing person who had benefited from having the surgery. It gave me hope that I could find my way out of the darkness. I’m still navigating through some shadowy areas, but all in all, I’d say I have a reason to be proud of myself.

Status Update #7

This shirt makes me look as if I have ALL the breasts.

*Ok, so this is really, seriously not any sort of competition. I am very well aware of that. I think it’s pretty sick that my brain goes there at all. But it does, and as I’ve said numerous times, this blog doesn’t do anybody any good if it’s not honest. This means that I will express feelings that even I wish that I hadn’t had. But it’s part of the experience, and it’s part of being human, and maybe saying what I said will really mean something to someone else out there. So I said it.