Status Update #10

Today is the one-year anniversary of my LAP-Band surgery. Yesterday I had my tenth post-op visit with my surgeon. As usual, I will start this entry with some numbers

Weight on day of surgery: 239.2 lbs
Weight last month: 170.0
Weight today: 175.0
Total lost: 70.8 lbs

I’ve put on about ten pounds since November thanks to the holidays utterly obliterating most of the good habits I’d spent months building up. I thought I had been doing better than I evidently was. This year, I shall have to be more careful.

But even despite that, the fact that the scale at my doctor’s office read “175” gives me hope. My scale at home read that this past Saturday, on my weekly weigh-in day, and there’s always a few pounds’ discrepancy between home and the doctor’s office thanks to things like clothes and the fact that I’ve usually had at least one meal by the time I weigh in at the doctor’s. So if I was 175 pounds there yesterday, then that means that when I climb onto the scale again this Saturday, I might be headed back in the right direction. So yes, I am hopeful.

This week I have been trying to keep myself to a 1200 calorie daily diet. I have gone over by a hundred or three a couple of days, but I am doing my best to at least track everything and get it written down. That part has been pretty successful. And I’m trying not to think of going over 1200 calories a day as any kind of failure–for one, I’m just starting to rebuild my habits, and for two, one of the reasons I’ve eaten more than that is because I’m just hungry. I am legitimately wanting to eat more, because my body still wants more food, rather than my head wanting more food. I’m going to give it another week and then ask for an adjustment if I’m still having issues with hunger. (I was already planning to do this anyway, but the staff at my doctor’s office firmly encouraged this idea because it can be difficult to tell what your hunger levels are really like when you’ve failed to exercise good habits for as long as I have.)

I will tell you that in the meantime, though, I wish I’d just asked for one yesterday when I was at the bloody office. I’ve only just had breakfast, and I am still hungry. There will be many glasses of water in my future today to act as filler, methinks (and it’s not a good idea to drink lots of water, anyway).

So, one year ago today is the day my world was reset. How am I going to celebrate? I am going to celebrate by going to a fancy restaurant with my husband and a good friend of ours, and consuming a pre-portioned dessert for which I have already researched the nutritional information. If I am as good as I intend to be today, it will fit into my daily limit. And I will not have anything else at this restaurant, unless that “something else” is dinner, and is a thing that fits within my daily calorie limit. (It’s wonderful that so many restaurants have their menu’s nutritional info online these days, and that portable food scales are things that exist.) Of course the “exciting” part of this is that there are practically no items on this menu apart from desserts that are within the calorie range I’d need them to be in order to be able to eat them. But the nutritional guide I’m looking at assures me that the chef’s can accommodate me.

I could also, of course, just eat dinner at home before going out for dessert, which, given both my nutritional needs and how hungry I’m likely to be around five or six o’clock, is probably what will happen.

I should not be celebrating this milestone in this manner. But I wanted to do something with people, and since my husband would be the one footing the bill either way, I wanted him to get some enjoyment out of it, also. The fact that I am not saying to myself, “This occasion is a celebration, and so I will have however much of whatever I want” is very important. The fact that I looked up the nutritional information for my dessert, and that I’m working to budget it into my daily calorie allotment, is very important. I am working toward that whole “vigilance” thing, rather than using this as an excuse to go hog wild. …and I had sort of been beating myself up for using this as an “excuse” at all, but the more I think about it, the fact that I’m taking into account the calories and working to be aware of that and so forth is a good sign. It’s one of the habits I need to work back up.

So yes, I am celebrating my one-year bariatric surgery anniversary with a dessert. But I am doing so in a moderated fashion–and I’m sort of proud of myself for that, given how much difficulty I’ve had in the past with moderation.

There will be no picture this month, as I haven’t changed much. We’ll see what’s happened by my next appointment in April.

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2 thoughts on “Status Update #10

  1. coemaria says:

    I am very happy for you. I am also very proud of you. I wish I could be in the space you are today, but I know that takes something I just don’t have right now.

    Please know that I think it’s groovy that you are putting yourself out there like this. It’s a very scary thing to do. Way to go.

    Much love and *hugs*

    • Astrid says:

      Thanks, ma *hugs* Know that I’m always here for you, no matter what space you’re in : ) Look to the future–you never know what you’ll find hidden away there.

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